So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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