just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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