that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
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