margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
How's work?
Spinning.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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