your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize