Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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