You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
