I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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