Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
