i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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