she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
