I've blown a few things in my day
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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