yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
