that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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