Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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