I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
