Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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