i permit you to call me
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I believe in your delicious
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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