it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
