Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize