I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
