this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
