so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
