This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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