I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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