i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
