addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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