he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
being pregnant is like rehab
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
