i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You made out with two different species that night
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Couch. On fire.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
