I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
