Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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