I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
