So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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