Do you still have your period?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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