I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
