omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
