Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
