Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
