even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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