Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
