i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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