we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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