She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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