So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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