They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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