community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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