My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
