idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
