Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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