On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
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I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
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You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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