I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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