I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
