i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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