it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
