forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
