When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
