no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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