do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
