In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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